So I've made some very terrible decisions as of late and part of my penance coming clean publicly. I realize by doing this that I will be losing a lot of you as friends and I don't blame you. I've not been a good person and probably don't deserve your friendships. That being said, if you do decide never to be friends with me, I understand and for those closest to me that decide this, I will miss you. As a lot of you already know, Sam and I have had a very troubled marriage. Although that does not justify what I've done, that's really where this all begins. The details leading up to this are not important, what it comes down to is that I cheated on Sam. I did not have sex with anyone (not that it matters). I did not even meet these people (not that that matters either). I did flirt and send dirty messages and pictures to 2 different men. Men that I didn't know nor did I ever see them in person. I don't know what I was thinking. You all know as do I that I'm smarter than this. I have tried to intellectualize this, but all that leads to is stupid justifications. What I do know is that things were so bad when these experiences happened that I didn't think that I had anything to lose.

I was and am very, very wrong. I love my Husband very much and I've sent this post at his request. I'm going to work my hardest to gain back as much of his trust as I can ( if that is possible). So if that means losing what few friends I have and some of my freedoms, then so be it. I apologize with every ounce of my being and soul to Sam and to everyone that reads this.

At this time, I am no longer allowed to have male friends. While I don't think that this includes my gay friends, it will be some time before I will be hanging out with anyone. This does not mean I can't see you every now and then, but Sam is requiring that if we do hang out, then he must be there. Since he never likes to leave the house, I don't think I'll be seeing you for a very long time.